What Will You Regret?
You’ll notice over the last 6 month’s or so that I, Chief Nerd, have not written much here at the blog.
Thankfully we all have Lewis, AKA Nerd#2, to fill the void and provide us with his genius.
Why haven’t I been around?
To make a long story short my Sister has been fighting the fight of her life.
She has Cancer and is still battling.
More on this in the days to come.
Today I’d like to share with you some of the key things I’ve learned during this time.
1. Death is something to think about BEFORE it comes knocking.
Death isn’t pretty and losing someone we love is one of the hardest things you may ever endure.
At least that’s been my experience.
Here is the truth though.
NOBODY cheats it.
But we rarely use it to propel us toward our goals and find balance in our lives.
I was, just like many of you.
Speeding along, unconscious, in my desire for money and fame.
Trying to make more, get more, achieve more.
Then I got the call.
“Brother, I’m dying”.
I have tumors all over my body.
I don’t have long to live.
What did I do?
I immediately dropped everything I was doing.
Nothing else seemed to matter.
My only focus was helping my Sister live.
My goal in “Earning” was to provide her with the best care, help her young children, and do everything possible to these ends.
The projects that had consumed me or new launches in the pipeline didn’t matter anymore.
Why do we do this?
It seems as though our entire lives are driven by the urgent.
Taking care of the most important things when it’s almost too late.
To be honest prior to this I wasn’t a great brother.
After all I had worlds to conquer.
I had products to create.
Yet connecting and loving my Sister was way DOWN on the priority list.
I’m not saying give up your dreams and focus on other things.
I’m just saying that finding time to create magic moments and real connection in life before it’s too late should be THE most important thing in your life.
I’ll write more in the days to come about this experience.
For now just remember that we only get ONE SHOT here and we don’t know that it might just end in a split second tomorrow or right at this moment.
Use this to rethink how you and I live and I promise your life will be the better for it.
2. “Friend” is just a word used without much meaning most of the time.
Oh you might say…”Dexter don’t be so cynical”
To you I say this.
My mentor used to tell me that you’ll never know the character or your friends or how true they really are until the world is on Top of YOU.
You see when you are on top of the world everyone wants to give you everything.
Why?
Because they think you have something to give back.
Which I’m not against by the way.
It’s just important to know whom those true friends are and really spend the time necessary to connect and cultivate those relationships.
I live much of my life through the lens of objectivism and realism.
A philosphy many may not agree with.
However, I’m not a blind follower.
I’m a huge believer that we need each other.
But at the same time we need to have a two way street.
This being said, during my recent times I had many friends jump ship (“couldn’t wait” etc..) and many I never thought of as friends step up in ways that bring tears to my eyes.
So I advise you to take inventory and make a conscious effort to cultivate the few relationships in your life that are meaningful.
For when the time comes that the world comes crashing down they are the ones who will be by your side marching forward.
I have “Friends” whom have over 1,000 “Friends” on facebook.
They feel good when they get 339 Birthday Wishes.
I believe we are becoming socially disconnected and diluting the meaning of friendship with this new social world we live in.
Be careful!
To those of you whom I know personally and have been through this time with me I say Thanks. I love you and will be waiting for the opportunity to be a friend when Life gives you the circumstances you may not want.
3. Money isn’t what we think it is.
Why the heck would I say this.
Because most of us attach money to “Things” we can get, “Places” we can go, and “Status”.
Yet the minute something is taken away from us that has true meaning we WILL instantly give all that way.
For me it’s been my daughter or my Sister.
The money meant nothing.
I would and did give more then I could and even more for a higher purpose and meaning.
Money can be made but “Time” can’t be given back.
What would you do if your daughter or son were going to die?
What if they were taken away?
Does any amount of money even matter?
For me it hasn’t.
Thankfully many of you have learned this lesson earlier in life then I have.
I’ve been given the chance many times over to do so but have ignored the lessons.
This time I’m making a conscious decision to live a different life going forward.
4. Focus on What you Push Out to the world, not on what you are getting back.
An example is this post.
Some may not like some of what I’ve written and attack me for it.
I’ll, for sure, get an email or two telling me “I’m wrong”.
That’s o.k.
I believe it’s valuable to more then not.
I’ve put thought into whether I believe it will have a positive impact.
Than answer I’ve came up with is YES or I wouldn’t bother.
If you focus on the minimal negative feedback your most important work and thoughts will never make it into reality.
5. Focus on Today.
This is one I’ve struggled with for much of my life.
I’m constantly finding myself in the “tomorrow”.
The next project.
The next vacation.
The next day.
If you are always focusing on the Whole Project then life becomes complex, scary, and overwhelming.
Learn to be in the now.
Don’t wait til Valentines day for the flowers or Magical evening.
What can you do today to connect?
What can you do today to move a step closer to being the person you want to be?
Only with these baby steps can the end result be a reality.
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Alright that’s it for today.
Look for more in Part Two and Three in the next few days.
Also look for an email I’ll be sending as well as post for a way you might be able to help my Sister, if you want to that is.
May Life meet you half way and your most important relationships prosper.
Chief Nerd
